Is George Costanza the best career coach you can find?

George Costanza rules for career progress
Costanza rules for easy career progress

Faster career progression is in your hands and the time is now to decide on your future. Follow the rules below, written as a tribute to George Costanza way of work. Use them with care and respect!

  1. Always carry your notebook or your laptop with you
  2. Learn how to type with more sound
  3. Keep lots of things on your desk
  4. Don’t ever answer your phone at the first call
  5. Look impatient when you are talking to your coworkers
  6. Stay late in the office
  7. Look worried and sigh at least once during the day
  8. Stand up in the meetings and write something on the whiteboard
  9. Extend your vocabulary
  10. Learn what makes your boss tick

1. Always carry your notebook or your laptop with you

Even better – take both. If you are walking with your hands empty – it means you are on a break. And being on a break keeps your career progress away from that fancy corner office.

If you are not the last one leaving the office – be sure to take your laptop with you, with addition of few printed presentations annotated with few scribbles. Because you have so much important stuff to do you, you have to invest your own private time to get things done or else – who knows what would happen to the company… Acting as indispensable will eventually impress right people and they find a way how to make you happy so that you don’t think about leaving

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Bonus points – be visible and invest a bit of time in packing when leaving, be sure to mention few more things to your coworkers and come back for one more document that you forgot to take (don’t do this too often because you could give an impression of being restless and unreliable). 

2. Learn how to type with more sound

If people can hear you type, they will not bother you as obviously you have very important stuff to do. Even better – if you can type consistently – it gives the impression of productivity. And as we know, the one and only formula for employee productivity is:

number of emails sent + number of emails received = performance

Everyone loves a productive employee and nobody will doubt can you handle a promotion and responsibility that comes with makimg career progress.

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Bonus points are awarded if you can type really fast. Be smart with your preparation and time planning, aim to answer all your private emails, friendly chats and Amazon reviews when the office is crowded the most.

Perfect environment is if you are using two screens, then make sure that the bigger screen is always showing something with your company’s logo on and you are free from any inquisitive checks from your colleagues because it is obvious that you are working on something important.

3. Keep lots of things on your desk

This one is getting a bit more difficult with a “clean desk policy”, accompanying open space philosophy in the trend nowadays. Still, if you don’t have to follow clean desk policy you have a great tool to show how busy you are.

Print every presentation you get and just put it on the pile. If you are concerned about the environment and reluctant to print unnecessary things – just find some old documents that you can reuse — nobody will notice that you are keeping company’s annual report from 5 years ago on the bottom of the pile.

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Bonus points – if you are expecting someone to pick up the documentation you had to prepare, put it in the middle of the pile and take it out when he/she comes at your desk. It is a fantastic move to show both, your efficiency and amount of work you get done. You will look indispensable for the company, and people that are so valuable advance easier in their career.

4. Don’t ever answer your phone at the first call

Call back in a few minutes (depending on the importance of the caller) with either an explanation that you needed time to step out from an important meeting or that you simply couldn’t answer sooner. Remember – nobody is calling you to offer something good, you can only end up with more work that you didn’t want.

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Bonus points – if you received the call close to the end of business hours, call back later in the evening. You are showing dedication to work, extra effort done in non-business hours and additionally your caller will be either sorry for bothering you or simply impressed (combined with fear) with your work ethics.

5. Look impatient when you are talking to your coworkers

Working on your career progress is an exercise in finding a right balance in social interactions. In this step you must learn how to look impatient but not to annoy the other person. Goal is to show that you are in parallel solving numerous projects and that every second invested in communication is actually a gift that should be highly appreciated.

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Bonus points – limit your attention span when other person is talking, make sure your eyes are wandering everywhere around except in other person’s eyes. Decrease the dosage when talking with the boss as there is nothing more important than what the boss is explaining. 

Costanza Dev